Category Archives: Weekly News Columns

All Great Things Are Possible If You Believe In Yourself

By Nancy Stoops

What is it that seems to set you apart from somebody you consider a successful human being?  Do you find yourself always doubting your capabilities?  Are you really willing to always settle for less than you really deserve?  Don’t you understand that you have wings and that you really could fly if you just believed in who you are and how capable you really are?

Please trust me when I tell you that there are no limits except the ones that are self imposed.  You can be and have whatever you desire if you set goals and just keep moving toward them.  If you do this, after awhile you will be who you want to be and have the wonderful life that you are so very deserving of.  Right now this very moment make a promise to yourself that you refuse to settle anymore.  Today is the day that you will change that mindset that allows you to always be less and have less of a life than you desire.  Today is the day that you will discover your wings and each and everyday from now on you will discover how to fly.

I want you to become the author of your very own fabulous script for your life. Tomorrow is much too long to wait because all you really have is today.  Stop deceiving yourself and start being somebody you are proud of.  I know if you tell yourself the truth you will grow into somebody you really want to be.  I have witnessed the transformation of many and have had the honor of helping in the process as well.  Just know that I have faith in you and I know you can grow into who you are intended to be!!!!!!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at 909 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Men and Women

By Mark Hopper

My wife and I recently enjoyed a restful vacation at an older beach community.  The setting was lovely and the weather was great.  We really enjoyed our time there. We stayed at a condo a short walk from the beach.  Sometimes we would drive to a nearby coffee shop or breakfast place to start our day.  As we drove along, we noticed that there were a lot of people wallking and jogging on the sidewalks just above the beach. There were men and women of all ages.  Some were walking alone and others with a partner or two.  Some of the women were pushing high tech baby strollers with bicycle type tires and streamlined contours.  They sure look different than the four-wheeled strollers we used when our kids were young!   There were a lot of older adults out too early but very few teens!

As we observed this early morning activity, my wife and I began to wonder if there were more men or more women involved in this daily routine.  So, we started counting.  Each day we made a mental note if we saw more men or more women.  What do you think we learned? Almost every day, there were more women than men walking or jogging along the street.  I think there was one day where the men won, but most of the time there were more women walking, running and exercising.  I must admit that I was a little surprised.  I thought that the men would be out exercising and that the women would be home making breakfast and taking care of the kids or grandkids. I was wrong.  The women consistently outnumbered the men.  Younger women were jogging along the sidewalk wearing stylish shorts and tops with their hair in a pony tail.  They had a bounce in their step and looked like they had already been to the gym.  Older women were walking at a slower pace but seemed to be enjoying the beautiful scenery and conversation with a friend.

We did see some younger men wearing conventional shorts and not wearing shirts.  They looked pretty “buff” and were very sweaty (sp).  Older men were typically walking alone at a slower pace.  And, there were some couples walking or jogging together, too. I suspect that most of the men were still in bed or at best sitting in their PJ’s drinking a cup of coffee on the veranda (sp) back at their condo.  Maybe the younger men were already too busy playing games on their computers or smart phones.  Some of the men may have been on the phone talking with their office back home.

It seemed clear to my wife and I that the women were on the move and the men were not.  I wonder if this is true at the local gym too? Are there more women than men at 24 Hour Fitness?  Do the women outnumber the men at Crunch or LA Fitness too? I wonder if this is true in our country?  Are the men sleeping in and the women out exercising?  Have the men become couch potatoes?  Are the women in our country setting the pace when it comes to exercise and better health? I realize that our survey does not meet scientific standards and may not be completely accurate.  We were just one couple in one community observing human behavior for one week.  Obviously more study needs to be done in this area. You need to draw your own conclusions.

My conclusion is this – two cheers for the active women.  Keep it up – you are doing great!  My challenge for the men is – get out of bed, get off the couch and get out the door.  Join a gym or find a jogging partner.   Both men and women of all ages need regular exercise.  It is good for the body, mind and soul.  Take the first step toward better health this week!  You will be glad you did and your family will too.

Pastor Mark Hopper
Efree Church of Diamond Bar
3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd
Sunday Services: 9:00 & 10:45 AM
Efreedb.org 

Straight Talk With Danice

Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

 

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi,

 

I recently suffered a terrible break up.  I didn’t want my family to see me crying all the time so I started taking long walks.  My walks soon turned into running and I have now lost 23 pounds.  Now everyone is asking me if I’m suffering from an eating disorder and wondering if I’m depressed.  I do look a little under weight, but this is what I need to do right now.  I don’t want to talk about the details of my break up because it is too painful for me.  I just want to run.  I want to avoid socializing right now.  How can I briefly explain myself so people will leave me alone?

-Y. P.

Dear Y. P.

It seems to me that you have found a healthy way to work through your pain and suffering.  In my opinion you are on the right track and you do not owe anyone an explanation about how you are managing your emotions.   As for your well meaning and sincere loved ones, tell them exactly what you told me.  When you feel up to talking, tell them that you are processing your suffering with exercise and that you are not willing to have long conversations about your breakup.  Well meaning people will respect your request.  However, if you find yourself unable to truly digest your difficult experience in a reasonable amount of time, please seek the guidance of a skilled coach or therapist for a bit of additional assistance. Good Luck, and keep safe.

-Danice Akiyoshi ND

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com

Homeownership Is Good For Kids

Nef Cortez

By Nef Cortez

Homeownership has long been lauded as an important factor in the success of children in school and subsequently in their careers. Much research and many studies have been completed with analysis on the beneficial impacts of homeownership on children. This fact has long been used by the real estate and lending industries to encourage homeownership. I think that the most important factor contributing to the statistical confirmation of greater academic success for children of homeowners versus those of renters…is the improved stability in their family life that homeownership typically affords them.

People who own their homes do not move as often as those who rent. Children of homeowners are able to establish friendships for longer periods of time, going to school together and sharing other community activities that create bonds that sometimes last a lifetime.  This is not to say that children of renters do not do the same thing. It just means that children of homeowners are provided a more stable environment in which to nurture those relationships for longer periods of time. The stability that is provided to children enables them to perform better in school, and it is also impacted by the increased participation in community activities by the homeowners and their families. They become more vested in the community, and the parents are typically more watchful of the participation by their children in healthy activities. Homeowners usually buy in neighborhoods that already have a high rate of homeownership, and therefore the effects of individual homeowners cumulatively have a multiplier effect.

Many of the characteristics exemplified in the actions taken by homeowners, such as the investment of time and money into the improvement of their homes, is a positive modeling of behaviors that are beneficial to the community at large, and to homeowners’ children specifically.  These behaviors are seen and many times adopted by the children involved in these types of activities. Homeowners typically perform these activities more frequently than renters.  These social behaviors that are beneficial to the community are passed on to or learned by the children, and therefore we all benefit.

This article was written by Nef Cortez, a licensed Real Estate Broker, Ca BRE # 00560181 since 1976. He can be reached via e-mail at nefcortez@gmail.com.  Please feel free to email any questions regarding real estate.

Where’s My Bag?

By Mark Hopper

Recently, my son and I took a father son golf trip.  My wife came along to cook for us and to clean our golf clubs each day (just kidding).

My son and I enjoy playing golf and sharing time together.  He is a good golfer and can really hit the ball a mile.  His tee shots can be amazing and he hits his iron shots high and long onto the green.

Since we were traveling by plane, we both checked in our golf clubs at the ticket counter. We both use a “travel bag” to transport our golf clubs.  Some golfers use a “hard shell” travel case, but both my son and I use a soft, canvas case.  Both of ours are black.

When we arrived at our destination, we headed for baggage claim to pick up our clubs.  We always hold our breath hoping that our bags made it to our destination.  I suppose everyone who travels by plane has “lost” a suitcase or other luggage.  But, this time there was no problem.  We grabbed our golf bags and headed for the car rental center.

However, as I was signing papers for our rental car, my phone rang.  I handed my phone to my son so I would not be discourteous to the car rental employee.  The call was from a number that he didn’t recognize but he answered it any way.

I didn’t hear the conversation, but it did sound like something was wrong.  I hoped it wasn’t an emergency.  After getting the keys to our rental car, I asked my son what the phone call was all about.  He said that it was from someone at baggage claim at the airport.  They said they had my golf bag and wondered if we had picked up their bag by mistake!

We called them back and asked them to wait for us on the curb by baggage claim. We drove our rental car right back to the airport.

We didn’t know what the people looked like and they didn’t know us, but we found each other pretty quickly.  They were the people with the black, canvas golf travel bag.

Apparently, one of their travel bags was exactly like mine!  We had picked up their bag thinking that it was one of ours.  When they saw my bag, they thought it was theirs.  When they opened the travel bag, they quickly realized that the golf clubs inside were not theirs.  Thankfully, I had my name and phone number in one of the pockets of my golf bag.  That is how they knew how to call me.

Our travel bags were exactly the same.  The same brand and same color.  Identical.!  I am very thankful that they discovered our mistake and were able to contact us before we left the airport.  We might not have discovered our mistake until we got to a golf course a day or two later.  A potential disaster was averted!

I guess you can’t judge a book by its cover or a travel bag by its color.  It is wise to look inside and see what is there.  The same is true in dealing with people.  We should not judge them by their exterior.  The color of their skin or the clothes that they wear.  We need to look beyond the surface and get to know the real person on the inside.

In the Old Testament book of First Samuel, God warns his prophet Samuel that men look on the outward appearance but God looks on the heart (I Sam 16:9).  In the New Testament, Peter says that we should not just focus on our outward appearance (clothes, jewelry, hair) but focus on the hidden person of the heart (I Peter 3:1-6).

I know that most suitcases look alike and so do golf travel bags.  But, we need to remember that it is what is on the inside that counts. The same is true when we look at our neighbors, co-workers and classmates.

Pastor Mark Hopper
Efree Church of Diamond Bar
3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd
Sunday Services: 9:00 & 10:45 AM
Efreedb.org 

 

Straight Talk With Danice

Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Danice Akiyoshi,

My teenage son (13) thinks he doesn’t need to shower because he goes swimming in the pool.  He will go three or four days without taking a shower and it’s getting pretty bad.  Everything I say goes in one ear and out the other.  Do you have any suggestions?  I’m getting desperate.

M. R.

 

Hi  M. R.

Your complaint is very common.  Kids in this age group quite often don’t want to be bothered with things like personal hygiene.  Thankfully that doesn’t last forever in most cases.  My idea would be to explain to your son that chlorine is a chemical that isn’t overly friendly to skin and hair and really should be rinsed off with soap and shampoo after he’s enjoyed the pool.  If he still ignores you, be straight with him and tell him that you have no interest in living with someone who never smells fresh or clean.  Explain that you have basic standards for the family home and you expect every family member to respect those standards in order for everyone to enjoy a harmonious experience.

Good Luck,

Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@ candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com

Celebrating the Simple Things

By Nancy Stoops

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I believe each day that we have the honor of being alive is call for celebration.  Every morning as I awake and see the sun rising and filling the sky with majestic colors I am reminded of how lucky we are.  As I step out in the morning with Midnight my therapy dog I feel blessed for his friendship and for the health that we both have.  As we start our walk through our wonderful community I am proud to be part of it and I enjoy the morning song of the birds around us.  As we walk I enjoy the trees and flowers that represent life in the neighborhood.  Midnight and I are greeted by the other daily walkers with a friendly smile and warm hello.  It’s so nice to be part of such a wonderful neighborhood filled with such lovely people.  Sometimes the other dogs will visit with Midnight as we make our way through our neighborhood and that makes Midnight a very happy soul.

I think the feeling of the sun on my face is just magical.  The fragrant plants and flowers are intoxicating and so very delightful.  Swimming or floating in water has always been very freeing for me.  Laughter truly is the best medicine and I think we all could do a lot more of it.  Looking up at a night sky filled with stars and a full moon can be an experience that provides a wonderful kind of solace. Just hanging out with my grandson is fabulous.

These simple things I speak of don’t cost any money but are literally priceless.  I think if we all take time to appreciate the simple things that are so wonderful in our world we will be more positive.  I think then we will not dwell so much on what is wrong but focus on what is right!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at 909 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Life Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.net.

 

 

 

A Bird In The Hand

By Mark Hopper

 

There is a familiar saying that says, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”.  Basically it means that it is better to hold on to something you already have than to risk losing it by trying to get something more. I have come up with a better slogan, “A bird in the house is worse than two in the bush”.  During the past few months several birds have built nests in the rafters of our patio.  We enjoy watching the progress of nest building and the birth of new baby birds.  However, we don’t enjoy the mess that they make and leave behind.

One day we were surprised to see a new nest on top to the porch light next to our patio sliding door.  How did that happen?  The mother bird has been faithfully sitting on the nest.  But every time someone opens the patio door, she is frightened and quickly flies away. Recently, someone went out to the patio for a moment and forgot to close the door.  As usual the mother bird was started and quickly took flight.  But, instead of flying away, she flew into our house!  Suddenly we had an unexpected visitor.  The bird was frightened and confused.  We were also frightened and concerned.  What are we going to do with a wild bird in our house?  How do you get an uninvited guest to leave? Family members quickly sprang into action.  The grandkids opened the front door and the other two sliding doors in the house hoping the bird would use one of these safe exits.  One of the adults starting waving their hands trying to persuade the bird out of the house. Another adult grabbed a small blanket and held it up to try to block the bird from going further into the house.  To our surprise, the bird landed on the blanket and seemed to calm down.  Then the adult slowly walked toward an open door and gave the blanket a gentle shake and the bird flew away. Success!

I suspect most of you have had an unexpected guest in your house, too.  One time we had a skunk in our house.  You may have had a mouse, lizard, snake or other non-domesticated creature, too. I think most of these critters prefer the outdoors instead of indoor your house.  It can be a challenge keeping them out and it can be exciting getting them out when they find their way into your home. Jesus told his followers that our Heavenly Father knows how many hairs each of us has on our head and He knows when every Sparrow falls.  Since He knows every detail of our lives, I’m sure He knows when a bird finds its way into our house, too!   I’m not sure which is better –  the bird in the hand verses two birds in the bush.  But, I am certain that a bird in the house is worse than two birds in the bush.

Pastor Mark Hopper
Efree Church of Diamond Bar
3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd
Sunday Services: 9:00 & 10:45 AM
Efreedb.org 

Early In The Morning

Pastor Mark Hopper

By Mark Hopper

Recently my wife and I were in Arizona visiting some family members. As usual, I found myself helping with another home improvement project.

Every project seems to start at a local Home Improvement center like Home Depot. The closest one to us opened at 5:30 in the morning. I was surprised at how many people were already there that early in the day.

The parking lot was filled with pick-up trucks. Many were pulling trailers filled with tools, equipment and materials for another day’s work. Home Depot was a busy place.

I was impressed by the people that I saw. These were hard working people. Most were wearing jeans and work shirts that had paint and stains on them. Their hands and arms looked strong and sturdy.

I was also impressed by the spirit of these working people, too. There was laughter in their conversation. People greeted one another. Many seemed to know one another. There were smiles as people acknowledged fellow workers.

At the same time, there was a sense of urgency. They were there to pick up materials that were needed for the day’s work ahead. People were not loitering around. They were ready to get what the needed and get to the job site. No time for a long conversation. It was time to get to work.

I envy the skills and abilities for these hard working people. There were painters and carpenters. I saw men loading cement blocks and sheets of plywood with their bare hands. Others had filled their truck or trailer with bags of garden soil, bushes and trees ready for planting. There were a couple of plumbers, too. These were experienced, skilled working people.

As I finished shopping for the items I needed for my home improvement project, I couldn’t help but smile. I was ready to set out on a project, too. It was an honor to be among these gifted workers.

There is a verse in the Bible that is a helpful reminder for all of us who work with our hands and our minds. “Do your work with all your heart, as if you were doing it for the Lord and not just men” (Ephesians 6:7). Whatever our profession, we should strive to do our jobs well – not just to please others, but to please God.

Let me encourage you to do your work well. Be a good employee. Do all you can to encourage your co-workers, too. And, if you employ workers at your home or business, I hope you will express your appreciation to them too. Say “thanks” to the hard working people around you this week.
You will be glad you did and they will too!

Two Fun and Cheap Activities for Your Family This Summer!

By Chandler Holloway

Summer is officially here, which means kids across the US will be celebrating these three months of no school! There is plenty of time the young’uns have to explore the great outdoors and have an endless amount of fun under the sun! Actually, that might not be the case. Today.com reached out to the YMCA Family Health Snapshot, and they found that most kids spend 30% more time inside watching a screen than when they do while they are in school. All this extra time lounging around the house can result in unwanted weight gain and overall unhealthy habits. Instead of allowing summer to be a time of lazy lounging, here are two, cost-friendly activities, that you can allow your children to participate in!

 

Number 1: Public Pools!

 

Most communities have a nearby public pool that anyone can visit for little to no price. Public pools are a great way for your family to have a little bit of fun together, plus they encourage your kids to be social and make new friends. If you are looking for a quick one to two-hour play time, a public pool is a great option!

 

Number 2: Volunteer Work!

Volunteer opportunities are a great way for your family to not only get active during summer, but also have some much needed family bonding time. This could be anything, from volunteering to help clean up a local highway, or helping at your local dog shelter. Whatever it is, volunteer work is a great way to get the kids active, and exemplify how they can give back to their community.

If these activities do not cut it for the little ones, you can always check out your community newspaper for fun, cost-friendly activities happening around you.

The Summer of Healing

By Nancy Stoops

Can you believe summer is almost here?   Have you been putting off some very necessary therapy for your family or your child or maybe even yourself?  Well make this the summer of healing and don’t put it off anymore.  For the past twenty years I have been running a free counseling group that meets every Monday evening from 6-8 p.m. at the Walnut Teen Center.  Their address is 21003 La Puente Road in Walnut and their phone is (909)444-0089.  Even though we meet at the teen center I have help people of all ages with many different type of problems at this group.  We meet every week unless it is a legal holiday all year round.  I invite you and your family to come on down and try it out.

I also have the honor of running a free grieving group for the Walnut Senior Center located at 21215 La Puente Road in Walnut and their phone number is (909)598-6200.  This group can help with successful recovery from all types of loss.  I have had people attend that have lost loved ones, lost pets and even loss from retirement.  The funny thing is we actually do a lot of laughing and have a good time helping each other recover from what can seemingly feel impossible.  I have been running this group for seventeen years.  This group meets the first Friday of every month from 9-11 a.m. It is my privilege to have Midnight my registered therapy dog be my co-therapist at both of these groups.

I hope you will allow Midnight and I to help you and your family finally.  It will truly be our honor and pleasure to help you and your family members heal and finally grow into who you all deserve to be!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Let’s Go To The Movies

Pastor Mark Hopper

By Pastor Mark Hopper

I have noticed that many communities in the area sponsor Movie Nights during the summer.  Most of these are out doors in a park or other public area on Wednesday evening.  It is a great way to enjoy a relaxing evening with your neighbors, family and friends.

Our church has also porovided free movie nights during the summer season.  It has been a nice way for us to get to know our neighbors and to provide a positive event for our community.

In the past, we showed a family friendly film once-a-month in June, July and August.  Children, teens and adults watched together in our worship center.

This summer we are expanding our movie event by showing three different films in three different locations on our campus.  We are calling it a “Movie Festival” and we want to invite you and your family and friends to come!

On Friday, June 9th at 5:00 PM, we will be showing three different movies in three different venues.  We will be showing – “Finding Nemo”, “Soul Suffer” and “Swiss Family Robinson”.

On Friday, July 21st, at 5:00 PM, we will be showing “Lego Batman”, “Ant Man”, and “Hidden Figures”.

In addition to the Movies, there will be free hot dogs, chips and beverages for everyone.  There will also be crafts and face painting for children.  All of the films and food are free.

Please mark your calendar now and plan to enjoy a relaxing and fun filled evening with us this summer.  We hope you will find a film that you can enjoy and time to relax with your neighbors and friends.

For more information about our “Movie Festival”, please go to our website or call the church office at (909) 594-7604.

By the way, another favorite summer event at our church is Vacation Bible School.  The dates this year are July 24-28th.  Children from kindergarten through fifth grade are welcome to enjoy this busy week.  You can register online at our website or call the church office for more information.

This summer, I hope you will say to your neighbors, family and friends, “Let’s go to the movies”!

Pastor Mark Hopper, Efree Church of Diamond Bar, 3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd., Sunday Services: 9:00 & 10:45 AM, Efreedb.org

 

Straight Talk With Danice

Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Danice Akiyoshi ND
My friends and I go out for dinner at the same restaurant every month. We take turns paying the check. Three months ago the friend who was to pay that time got in a bind because the expiration date on her credit card had expired. She asked me if I would cover her and I said no problem. She never took care of it so I waited until the next dinner and she never brought it up. I’m not sure what to do now. I don’t want to sound petty or desperate, but it was $140.00. Can you give me any ideas how to collect without sounding bad? I’m nervous because I don’t like to upset anyone.

A.W.

Dear A. W.
You obviously shy away from conflict. Do yourself a gigantic favor and get some guidance in this area. It will go a long way in making your future easier to manage. In the meantime, I will respect that you are not keen on confrontation. My idea is to wait until it’s your turn to pay. Send the friend who owes you the money a text message or e mail in advance reminding her that you covered her when it was her turn to pay and that your turn is coming up so she can return the favor and cover you. In a polite way remind her to have a valid credit card and to confirm that she received your message and agrees with your request.. Good luck with that, but please seek assistance with your fear of conflict and confrontation. This is extremely important.

Take Care,
Danice Akiyoshi

Your Child’s Best and Most Productive Summer

​ By Nancy Stoops

​I am a very big believer in rest and relaxation and feel summer is a great time to do that. I take a lot of time off in the summer to do exactly that but I must feel my summer is also productive as well. I force myself to move at a much slower pace and I do play a lot more but I try to remember the concept of balance as well. Summer also allows for some unique activities.
​Please allow me to explain what I mean here. I see summer as a time to work on special talents and projects. Having a project can be very grounding and give you something to be working toward, which I believe is a very important concept. This doesn’t in anyway, take away from very well deserved break.
​The other really great piece about all of this is your child won’t loose all of their skills over the summer and returning to school will be easier. Common sense tells us, if we don’t use something for three months our skills can become rusty. By allowing our children to do absolutely nothing over the summer we are not doing them a favor, we are doing them a grave injustice. Encourage your children to read a book, write a story about something fun, walk the dog to keep their muscles strong, help you add and subtract how many miles you’ll be traveling this vacation, understand why when you throw the ball up, it always comes back down, and just keep learning the whole summer through. Teaching them the way to find that balance that will enhance their relaxation, make them feel good about their productivity and allow them to have more fun than they ever have!!!!!
This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727. You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Midnight the Therapy Dog and Live Heal and Grow at Amazon.com.

Don’t Ever Stop Believing

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

We are going through some hard times right now.  There are many people losing their jobs, their homes and many budget cuts to very important programs are taking place.  I still believe things can be turned around.  I still believe that people are basically good.  I still believe anything is possible with hard work and tenacity.  I refuse to give up in believing that all great things are possible.  They say people or things have to hit rock bottom before getting better.  But, take a look around in all that is still right with our world.  Take a look around at all the good that still goes on in our world and our community.

Please don’t use the state of the world as a reason to stop believing.  They say all things happen for a reason.  I don’t know why people have to suffer.  I don’t know why bad things happen to good people.  I just know that I believe in the good this world still has to offer.  I also believe our efforts to be our best do get rewarded.  It may take some time to see the results of one’s hard work.  Please don’t become a victim of apathy or anger because you feel every road you take becomes a dead end.  Remind yourself that there are unlimited roads to travel down, and that eventually you will discover the right one.  We must learn to be happy with the baby steps that occur when we want change yesterday.  Just for a moment think back to a time that you that would never change or get better, yet it did get better and so did you. I have to believe things will get better.  We need to remember why we are here and how powerful we are.  We need to remember that having faith in our world and each other is very healing and can lead us to finding that the right road!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to page her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

High End Falters

Nef Cortez

By Nef Cortez

The Real Estate market in Diamond Bar and Chino Hills are part of the higher end of the real estate market in the East San Gabriel Valley and the West San Bernardino County.  The median home values of  homes in these communities surpass by the thousands of dollars the median home values of many of the surrounding communities.

The media value of Diamond Bar homes is currently running at approximately $650,000, according to Realtor.com and other real estate data aggregators. That represents a median price increase of about 4% in the last 12 months. According to Realtor.com, the median listing price in Diamond Bar is currently $798,000, with the closing price of $575,000. The median home value in Chino Hills is about $629,000, and currently the median listing price of the 272 homes that are for sale in Chino Hills is $750,000, with a median closing price of $623,000.  According to Realtor.com, home values have gone up approximately 8.0% over the past year and are predicted to rise 3.8% within the next year.

What does this all mean?

Generally, when there is such a disparity between the median listing price and the median closing price, it means that the homes in the lower end of the real estate market are dominating the sales transactions volume.  As a matter of fact, the homes in the lower end of the range are selling so fast (when they are priced right) that the median days on the market has dropped from about 65 days a year ago to 38 days on the market this year.

 This article was written by Nef Cortez, a licensed Real Estate Broker, Ca BRE # 00560181 since 1976. He can be reached via e-mail at nefcortez@gmail.com.  Please feel free to email any questions regarding real estate.

Straight Talk With Danice

Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Danice Akiyoshi,

My mom owns a rental condo that she is allowing me to stay in rent free for my last year in college.  The arrangement is that I rent the extra bedroom to a friend and the rent they pay is to help with some of my expenses.  I also work part time to help with some of my own expenses too.  My problem is that my roommate knows that the money she gives me is for my own expenses and not really to make a rent payment. She is always late or she doesn’t have the full amount and I’m in the awkward situation of having to ask her for the money.  Last week she screamed at me and called me selfish because I pressured her for her rent because I need to go to the dentist.  We are hardly talking now.  She was once a good friend.  I’m miserable.

Candace.

 

Hi Candace,

It’s nice that you were able to have your friend be your roommate, but it looks like she is confused about the differences between friendship and business.  When it comes to her needing to pay her agreed upon portion of the rent, this is simply a business transaction and should not be confused with any other aspect of your relationship.  She is relying on your friendship and your mother’s generosity to take advantage of you.  Give her proper notice and get a new roommate.  Next time don’t divulge the details of your mom’s generosity.  That is between you and your mom. Don’t set yourself up to be prey for an opportunist.

Good Luck

Danice Akiyoshi ND

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@ candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com

Memorial Day

By Pastor Mark  Hopper

My wife and I visited Arlington Cemetery with our children many years ago.  It is a vast area outside of Washington, D.C., where thousands of military veterans are buried.   It is one of the best known cemeteries in our country.  Both Privates and Presidents are buried there.

Our family has also visited the military cemetery in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.  A bloody military battle was fought at Gettysburg during our nation’s Civil War in 1863.  The headstones list the names of each soldier and the states where these fallen veterans were from.

About ten years ago, my son and I had the opportunity to visit the beaches of Normandy, France.  This was the location of the largest amphibious invasion in history.  Troops from Canada, England, America, Australia, New Zealand and other allied nations came ashore to begin the liberation of occupied Western Europe.

Above the wide sandy beach is the American military cemetery.  My son and I walked through the endless rows of Crosses and Stars of David that mark each burial plot.  It is a stark reminder of the high price that was paid by American soldiers and sailors to secure a beachhead in France in 1944.  The war in Europe ended a year later.

Did you know that there are also military veteran cemeteries here in Southern California?  There is a National Cemetery in West Los Angeles and another in Riverside.  There are also military cemeteries in San Diego.

All of these cemeteries are dedicated to honoring the men and women who have served in our nation’s military.  Some of these people died in battle.   Many more survived their military service and have been buried in a veteran’s cemetery at the end of their lives.

On the last Monday in May, our nation celebrates Memorial Day to honor and remember the men and women who lost their lives serving in our nation’s military.  It is a day to reflect on the lives that have been lost and the price that has been paid to defend our nation’s freedom.

Someone said that “freedom is not free.” The freedoms that we enjoy everyday are a result of the sacrifice of men and women who have served in our nation’s military.

During the last few days in May, you will see American flags in many local cemeteries.  Thousands of volunteers from various service organizations give their time to place American flags on the graves of military veterans.

I hope that you will pause and reflect on what these flags represent.  Take a moment to remember those who have served in our nation’s military.  Take a moment to appreciate the sacrifice of those who died in military service.

 

Pastor Mark Hopper

Efree Church of Diamond Bar

3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd

Sunday Services: 9:00 & 10:45 AM

Efreedb.org

A Cow Bell

By Pastor Mark Hopper

Many years ago my wife and I and a group of adults from our church traveled to Romania.  We worked in partnership with a young pastor and growing church in the middle of the country.

In addition to visiting their church in the city of Cluj, we spent a week together in a rural village near the Transylvania mountains.

A number of young couples participated in a week-long marriage retreat.

In addition to daily discussions on marriage, there was also time for recreation and relaxation.  The Romanians were just as competivte as Americans.  Coed volleyball games were enjoyed by all of us.

One day during the week, I saw a line of cows walking down a dirt road near the field where we were playing volleyball.

The lead cow had a small brass bell hanging from a strap around his neck.  He was leading the other cows back into the village at the end of the day from the grassy fields nearby.

I told the members of our team that we were going to continue to play volleyball until the “cows come home”.  They didn’t know how accurate my prediction was.  We ended the game a few minutes later after the cows passed by us on the dirt road.

Recently while I was playing with our granddaughter at our house,  she had discovered a small cow bell on a self in our bedroom.  She was intrigued by its size and sound.  She didn’t know that this small bell was a gift from our friends in Romania.

I had not noticed that bell for years, but it immediately brought back fond memories of our trip to Romania and the wonderful friends we met there many years ago.

You probably have some keepsakes and souvenirs that remind you of people and events in your life.  You may have a picture or a plaque that brings back special memories of places you have been.

In one example in the Bible,  the people of Israel piled up twelve large boulders along the bank of the Jordan River.  These large stones were to serve as a reminder that the Israelites crossed the Jordan River on dry ground (Joshua chapter 4).These large stones were to remind future generations of this remarkable event in their nation’s history.

I think we all need visual, tangible objects to help us remember special events and special people in our lives.  You probably have some things around your house – pictures, trophies, and souveniours.  Let me encourage you to take some time this week to look around your house or office and reflect on the memories you find there.

Take time to tell your children and grandchildren the meaning and significance of some of the things that are hanging on your walls or sitting on the shelves in your house.  Maybe it is time to add a few new ones while you have the time.  You will be glad you did and they will too!

 

Pastor Mark Hopper

Efree Church of Diamond Bar

3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd

(909) 594-7604

Sunday Services: 9:00 & 10:45 AM

Efreedb.org

Straight Talk With Danice

Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Danice Akiyoshi,

My father has a terminal illness that he is in denial about.  He has asked me to take him house hunting close to the beach so he can have a better yard to enjoy the sun.  He is frail and weak and I’m not sure that he can survive the move or get used to a new neighborhood.  He sleeps a lot so I’m not sure when he’s planning on enjoying this new yard that he talks about.  He would also be moving away from his health providers which he says he hates.  None of this is logical to me, but I want him to be happy.  Please help.

Bob

 

Hi Bob,

Sometimes when people are faced with a difficult diagnosis they try to become involved in things that give them the impression that they are still involved in the process of life and true living.  Do you think you could provide these feelings for your dad if you spent some days at the beach or in the mountains or even in the desert?  We have so many wonderful locations in our area that help people feel like they’re on a true get away.  The week end cruises might be a good idea too. Remind him that moving has far too many nasty tasks involved and that having fun and enjoying the nice weather is a possibility without the hardships of moving.  I hope you find a way to enjoy this time together.

Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@ candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com